Inside my head tonight...

      I am blessed! I am blessed with a wonderful family who trusts in the Lord and a beautiful little girl that I pray will accept the Lord as her savior when His time is right, with a GREAT church family that believes and studies God Word, a wonderful place to work, and friends who are great encouragers and listeners!

      However, tonight I find that I am heavy hearted. In fact I have been since finding out a college classmate and her two young daughters were killed in a car wreck on Monday. She was driving to work, like any other typical day, and in the blink of an eye her life was taken! A man was left without his wife and without his 2 precious daughters, Rylee and Madison. Grandparents were left without their grand babies. I cannot imagine what that family is going through and I am continuing to pray that God will show them comfort in knowing where these three beautiful ladies are now!

 "Taken from Cecilia's facebook page"

"Little angels!!"

    You're told from the time you are small that you do not know when your life will end but when you hear that someone your age has passed, and her small daughters at age 3 and 4, things are put into a different perspective.

    "Are people seeing Christ's love through me?" "Am I choosing to live a JOY-filled life, rather than basing my attitude on circumstances?" My goal is that anyone who comes in contact with me will know that Christ lives in me and is the Master of my life. That my complete trust and hope rest in Him. If I believe this and live this, there is no way anyone will have a different opinion! I wonder if something were to happen (which I pray it never will) what will be the messages about my impact on others? If you look at Cecilia's facebook (my friend who passed) you will only find sweet memories of her smile, positive Christ-like attitude and disposition, her friendliness, and the list goes on. Am I living a life that I would want to claim before Christ?

   "What are my priorities??" It's a tough question to ask but simple to answer. What do you think about most? What is on your mind when you go to bed and wake up? That would be your number one priority. Are you worried about getting that next step at work so that you get a raise? Are you obsessed with your looks or self-image? Do you think about what you can do to have what your friends have, rather than being happy about what you already have? Are you obsessed with what the government is doing? (And the list can go on...) Some of the things I mentioned aren't bad things, until they become more important that spending time with the Lord, reading the Bible, attending church. If you are a Christian parent it is your DUTY to make sure your children are in church whenever the doors are open (unless they're sick, it's not nice to spread germs.) I see so many young parents who grew up grounded in their faith, and they have turned from it. They are happy with being the Holiday church goers (they show up on Easter, Christmas, etc...) or they started their marriage by not missing a service and now they have gone to Sunday morning Christians. It makes me sad. They are setting the course for what their children are going to do with the rest of their life! I pray that when Neeli is older and someone asks her, "What is most important to your family?" her answer can be our relationship and faithfulness to the Lord. Not how many wins my softball team has, or our cars and other toys. I pray that I will stay focused and not be lured away from God and His will because of worldly gain and acknowledgement.

    My pastor has quoted a song many times during his sermons and it is something like this, "We've only one life, it soon shall pass. Only what's done for Christ will last." I can't help but notice that the family friend, that was interviewed about the passing of Cecilia and her daughters, said the father/husband was relying on his faith and his knowledge of where his wife is now. When someone passes comfort and hope is not found in what they accomplished on Earth, but where they will spend eternity. I know that when I stand before Christ and give an account for my life, I don't want to have to explain why the lake, or tournaments, or just hanging out with my family was more important than the church He established and worshipping him.

   I have really been burdened for Cecilia's family. I have been praying that I can use this to better my life for Christ. I want to live so Christ-like that people notice it. I want to be courageous and seek out those who need to Lord, rather than hiding from them. I do not want to be the cause of anyone not accepting the Lord and spending an eternity in Hell.

***Sorry for the guts that I just spilled... It's been driving me crazy and writing will help ease that!!***

OH whatta week...

WOW! I have never been so happy to see a week pass! Don’t get me wrong I also hate to see it go so quickly! It’s been one of those weeks where so many great, fun, exciting things have happened but there’s also been those 2 things that have just thrown me for a loop.


Monday and Tuesday were normal days. Monday Neeli and I stayed in Greenville for the evening and watched the cheer competition at the high school, it was fun but it meant we didn’t get home until 9:15. Tuesday Phillip and I went to look at a couple houses in Hendersonville with our realtor, we were still very pleased with one and the other was decent as well.

Then came Wednesday… Wednesday about 25 minutes into my drive to work (which is a 45 min drive, counting the time I drop Neeli off at daycare,) I heard a thumping noise and realized I had a flat tire. I was very relieved that it happened in a place that felt “safe” and I had cell phone reception, but never the less it happened. So I gave a good friend that I work with a call and she swung up 25 to pick Neeli bug and me up. Later that day another co-worker’s husband changed the tire and informed me that I needed 4 new ones! It was ok I knew that everything happens for a reason and that this is all in God‘s control and timing. (“And we know that all things work together for good, for them that love God and are called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28)

On a brighter note, Thursday we had to opportunity to look at the same house we looked at on Tuesday for the 3rd time. I am so excited about this endeavor but I am praying that my want and excitement do not cloud my view of God’s Will. The last thing I want to do is jump on buying a house because I am excited and not listen to what God is telling me. However, it is a super charming, full of character house. It is in a great location for both my work and church and it’s a great price! So please pray with me that Phillip and I make the right choice for this purchase. So you’re thinking with that happiness why someone would be so ready for the week to pass.

This morning I was running about 10 minutes late, it happens every now and again. I ran in daycare and got Neeli ready and ran back out to Phillip’s truck (I couldn’t drive my car b/c of the tires.) I backed the truck out and when I went to squeeze through the turn to get out of daycare (it is SOOOO small) I misjudged it and scratched the whole back of the driver’s side! Talk about a shot in the pride and wallet! Of course my wonderful, gracious husband was very calm about it and sweet, but I feel terrible about it! That was when I was reminded again that nothing happens by accident; God knows it all and has a purpose for it all!

Basically I have been reminded, yet again, that without a good strong walk in the Lord things like this can become catastrophic. However when walking with the Lord, I do know all things happen for a purpose and a reason and I am reminded that he is my refuge! (Psalm 91:2 I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.)

I am also reminded that I am so very blessed with a wonderful supportive group of friends (one that actually surprised me today with some “girly” coffee and banana bread, and others who have hugged and shared scripture, as well as laughs), a WONDERFUL husband and a caring family. Plus I mean I have the cutest, funniest, sweetest child in the whole wide world (may be a little bias here). Anyway, here’s to an awesome weekend!

 Neeli Bug out in the cold on Sunday!

 Watching the cookies bake! I love the small things...

 Halloween Dress and beautiful girl :)

 An amazing group of friends!!

Some immediate family!

Another month gone...

Well, yet again time has slipped away from me and without so much as a blog. I have so much I would like to talk about right now, such as; politics, my worry over the future of our nation, my love for my daughter, how blessed I am to have such a wonderful family and group of friends, how wonderful our church is. However, the only thought that enters my mind is how stretched I am! At this time of year it is always a little stressful with it being the beginning of a school year, Christmas is just around the corner, and our church schedule is crazy.  Nevertheless, this year seems to be ultra-busy! I am not just a wife and mother; I am a teacher, photographer, and youth director’s wife. I am a 31 year old with weight loss goals that aren’t being met because I never stop or have time to work out, or a wife/mother in search of that perfect first house (so excited!).  I am a teacher of 20 fifth graders who enter school each day, some coming from situations that would make you cry, all at different levels, but it is my responsibility to bring them to success on the “end of the year” test.  A youth directors wife that feels she is not doing as much as she could to bond with and council the young girls we have the privilege to work with on Sundays and Wednesdays or the photographer who LOVES taking photos and getting to see or hear the reaction of the client when they see the final product. A friend who should be taking time to share Christ’s love with those that I do not want to spend an eternity in Hell, or a family member who needs to spend time with those whom I never see. A Christian who talks with the Lord daily but is lacking in the reading and listening daily. In all these things I want to do my best, but I feel I am failing. I am not complaining in fact there is not one thing I would want different in my life at this moment! I just do not know how to balance it all. I am already getting up at 5:45 and the earliest I go to bed is 11. I have an awesome husband who will clean and cook whenever he knows I just do not have the time. I have family whom I never see, even grandparents, and they are all very understanding.  I want to know how to do it all and feel like I am succeeding, rather than doing it all halfway, and that is my rant for the day!

I love this smile!!

A New Challenge

I am an avid blog follower. I love to read about someone’s triumph over life’s trails, or fun tips on crafts, food, and decorating. However on my journey through the MANY blogs online I have realized one truth; a large number of blogs written by women are written by, and for stay at home moms. I have absolutely nothing against stay at home moms. In fact if I were given the opportunity I would love to stay at home with my bundle of joy. I have been toying with the idea of starting a blog that will contain some everyday thoughts, interesting ideas that I find and try, rants, raves, basically whatever I feel the need to write about. Of course I have the typical worries; will it be of interest to anyone, will I have any followers, how can I reach other women. Nevertheless, I am going to give it a try.


I am first off a Christian, I accepted Christ as my Savior when I was 4 years old. I believe that He is the only way to Heaven and I will be glad to talk to you about that at any time. I am also a wife, mother, daughter, sister, niece, aunt, and last but not least a teacher. I love my life and believe I have been truly blessed! I want to use this blog to express feelings that I, along with other working moms, may have, as well as thoughts on things that are going on in the world. I love to write and I can’t wait to get this started! I would also love to hear from readers and get your expertise and how you deal with everyday events and life.

I have decided that after my year and a half off from sharing my news via the blog world, I am coming back! With a larger variety of writings, not just about my life and listing facts, I am hoping people will find it helpful and not just informative! Please enjoy this first post and know that I am extremely excited. However, with no internet at my house and the fact that I work 5 days a week, I am starting with the expectation of a writing a week! Let’s see if I can meet the challenge!

Neeli is here!!

 First Family Picture

Tuesday March 22, 2011 was a day I will never forget! Like so many of you who have entered into parenthood know it is the greatest, scariest, most exciting, and yet most surreal experience one can have! The love that you feel for your child is a love that you don't understand until you see this little person who is fully reliant on you, and your guidance. (A little intimidating, yet exciting too). It's a love that I thought I understood when I got to see Neeli and feel her as she grew throughout the pregnancy, but had no idea how it would be magnifide when she was here in our arms. Throughout my whole pregnancy there were so many times that Phillip and I were reminded that we are all fearfully and wonderfully made....the way God designed us is so amazing, how everything just fits together in a way that we will never fully understand. It reminded me how important it is to fully trust in God in everything. Which as a wife, teacher, and now mother is something that is hard for me to do. Totally trust God in every situation and know that He has complete control. We know that every birth is a true miracle and I want to share our story from Tuesday with everyone. I want to show everyone God's hand in the birth of our daughter Cornelia Ruth.(I'll spare the goory details) :) My pregnancy had been a pretty uneventful, normal, run of the mill pregnancy all the way up to the last couple months. During the last couple of months I began to swell pretty signifigantly. Finally on March 10th my doctor decided to pull me out of work and see if the swelling would better itself. (This was a little over 2 weeks before my due date.) The next week when I went back she decided to do another ultrasound to make sure the baby was not gargantuan (the Dr's encouraging word). So we had one done during week 38 and found that Neeli was around 8lbs. In the meantime my week 37 and 38 visits led to the discovery that my blood pressure was beginning to go up, so inducing became more of a reality. I went in on the 21st with the understanding that if nothing had changed she was wanting to induce that night. On the 21st, Phillip and I got up and and enjoyed our "last meal" (or so we thought), went to Wal-mart and hung out for the day. At 3:15 we went to our doctor's appt. She found that my blood pressure was still elevated and my swelling was only getting worse. She wanted to induce. She told us that she would put me in Monday night and start a pill that helps you dialate, if your body is ready. She said she would then come in Tuesday morning and if it was working we would start pitosin and the actual induction. She told us the hospital would contact us and give us a time to be there, but explained it may not be till late b/c the baby floor had been busy. We were excited and resonably nervous as we headed home. We were planning on getting a few things done and maybe even having the time to attend the 2nd night of missions conference at church (if the hospital didn't want us till later). However, they called on our way home and told us to eat dinner and head straight up there when we were done. So, we ran home and grabbed our bags, went to dinner, and went to the hospital. We arrived at the hospital around 6:00 and were put into our room about 6:45. About 11:00 the nurse showed up and administered the first round of the "c" medicine (I can't remember the name...cyto something). Within the next couple of hours, I began having some pretty significant contractions. Not unbearable, but I could tell they had to be doing something. At this point the nurse came in and gave me a sleeping pill to help me rest. They continued to get stronger and by the time she came in at 3:00 with the second dose of the "C" medicine, I was in pain. So she checked the monitor and gave me a pain pill. (We didn't realize at the time the band that was measuring contractions was on wrong, and so it was showing very small, minor contractions even though mine were not small.) I asked about when I could possibly get the epidural and she told me I wasn't far enough along and that the pain pill should take care of the contractions I was having. About thirty mins later she returned to make sure I was confortable and the pain pill was working. I told her the contractions were now 3 mins apart and they were getting worse. (Come to find out, I was dialated to a five). This was also the point when my water broke. The nurse then called my Dr who headed to the hospital. I was told that since Neeli had moved back up, the epidural was going to have to wait b/c there was a risk of the cord coming out before the baby, so they wanted to see if she would drop...as you can imagine I was very sad about this news. By the time my Dr arrived, I was having HUGE contractions, which she showed the nurses when she fixed my band. She told them to give me the epidural and she got things rolling. By the time I had my epidural I was dialated to an 8. Within the first few minutes of my doctor being there she was watching Neeli, and found that her heart rate was dropping between contractions, which isn't supposed to happen. Because I had dialated from a 1 to an 8 in such a short time Neeli was under stress. We also found that Neeli had had bowl movements in the womb, which is also dangerous to the newborn. My doctor came in and told me that if her heart rate didn't change with the next couple of contractions, we might be looking at a C-section. Neeli's continued showing signs of stress and the doctor told me we were going to have to do a c-section (which even though I had said I never wanted, I felt at peace with that decision). Little did Phillip and I know how serious the situation was. They took me back for the c-section and numbed me up. Phillip got dressed and came back also. Our families were allowed to watch from the viewing room. I was pretty much out of it during the entire operation and only vaguely remember seeing Neeli before they took her out of the room. The c-section was completed and were back in our room when we finally learned what had happened. When Neeli was born, she didn't breath for the first 2 mins and they had to work with her. We also found out that if the labor had been even an hour longer, most likely, Neeli would not have made it. I loved seeing how our daughter's birth was orchestrated through God's plans and timing, not our own. Neeli is completely healthy, no side effects, and we are loving every minute with her... our God is good and His ways are perfect.

Phillip was reminded of the verse found in James 1:17 "Every good gift and every perfect gft is from above..." We thank the Lord for this little gift. Pray for us that we will be great parents and "train up this child in the way she should go". And also that "Baby Neeli" will be saved in the Lord's perfect timing. Wide awake and alert!

Right after they brought her to me!

Love this one!

Daddy's Mohawk

Family picture

After they revived her

ONE MONTH

We are now one month from Neeli's due date... excitement is definately setting in. (Esp for her daddy, who was scared to death about a girl).

Give away!

http://www.beneathmyheart.net

Is having a great silhouette giveaway!